Clean Jokes

A man goes into a bar very thirsty. He sits down waiting for the bartender to see him.
The man next to him calls...

A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer...

Life just gets better as you get older doesn`t it.
I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately...

The Pope and Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leaned towards Mr. Trump and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy...

A class had been studying destruction of the rain forest and was talking about ways they could help protect the planet. One boy was particularly proud of his contribution. He announced, "I got at least...

Proverb: Actions speak louder than words.
Counter Proverb: The pen is mightier than the sword.
Proverb: Look before you leap.
Counter Proverb: He who...

This is a story about a couple that had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband`s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and...

After being married for 30 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her ...
Her husband looked at her for a while and then said...

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea, "Why don`t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to...

A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine, a people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from...