Clean Jokes

A man was in bad shape. He constantly gasped for breath and his eyes bulged. The doctors didn`t give him long to live. He decided to live it up. Withdrawing all of his money from the bank, he went on a shopping spree...

A young air force officer had a very beautiful wife. Early each morning he left his house and went to the airport, and an hour later his wife always left the house too, with a big white towel, and went for a walk...

An 80-year old Bava goes for a medical check- up. All of his tests come with normal results. Dr Khambatta says, "Sohrabji, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you...

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across...

Jethro walks all the way into town to get a physical. The doctor hands him a specimen cup and says, "I need a urine sample."
Jethro goes into the bathroom, but can`t pee. He comes back out and says...

A solution to all of your drinking troubles: Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet.
Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face. Solution: Buy another pint...

Randy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddies. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom...

Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband...

A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn`t know how to continue to live her life. She hears that there`s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decides to go there to consult him...

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor`s office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life...