Clean Jokes

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents...

A man was taken to court for calling an Honourable Minister a pig. It was his first offence and the judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy. So he discharged him after warning him to desist from...

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing...

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee`s pay. She said...

Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda...

A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband`s temper. The doctor asks, "What`s the problem?"
The woman says, "Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every day my husband...

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing...

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She`s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole table, "What rotten luck I`ve had today! What in the world should I do now...

The teacher once asked the class to make a sentence with the phrase pistol too. Timmy raised his hand, and after being recognized said, "The lone Ranger tamed the wild west with his faithful Indian companion..

With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight."
As expected, the wife wasn`t happy at being imposed..