Clean Jokes

When Canadian road workers found about 200 dead crows on the highway between Toronto and Hamilton, there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. So the government had a bird pathologist examine...

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.
If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or...

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream `racism` these days.
In London, a customer asked, "Do you have "Sarso Da Tel?"
The shopkeeper says "Are you a "Punjabi?"
The guy (clearly offended) says...

Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty`s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address...

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
"I can`t do that, officer...

A Syrian arrives in Toronto as a new immigrant to Canada. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Canadian, for letting me come into this country...

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren`t you successful with the Arabs ?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East...

A new report shows that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising health benefits. Being five to ten pounds overweight could protect people from ailments...

An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won`t hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here`s your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number...

Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her mother and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace...