Clean Jokes

Bernie had a fight with Rachel, his wife, and went to the movies to cool off.
Later that evening, he decided to phone home to see what the situation was and maybe even apologize. "Hello, darling...

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it`s the only type of cooking...

I saw my coworker Don Monday morning. I was about to ask him how his weekend went when I noticed his black eye. It was a real shiner. "What the hell happened to you? Were you mugged...

"Mom, dad, sit down. I have something very important to tell you," said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation. "I met a guy who lives near the college that I really like and...

A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I`ve had enough and have left you...don`t bother coming after me." Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction...

A senior couple pulls up to a gas station: Attendant: How may I help you?
Old Man: Please fill it up.
Old Lady: What did he say?
Old Man [yelling]: He asked what we wanted and...

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband`s temper. The doctor asks, "So what seems to be the problem?"
The woman says, "Doctor, I don`t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his...

Sarah and Abe are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary. During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of (their) life insurance, an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years...

Jane walked into a pharmacy, strolled over to the counter, and caught the pharmacist`s attention. "Can I please get some arsenic?" she asked.
"Arsenic? What do you want arsenic...

Pedro gets a New Secretary. He faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband`s roving eye. Dora (Pedro`s wife): Does your new secretary have nice legs...