Milk Bath
A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant...
Getting a Haircut
Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That`s so cute!
Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn`t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don`t think it`s too fluffy looking?
Woman1: Oh God no! No, it`s...
Irish Eye Test
Seamus is having a bit of trouble seeing things at a distance so he goes into an opticians for an eye test. The optician asks him to cover his right eye with his left hand and read the letters on the card...
A Free Haircut
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. he placed the boy in the chair....
The Happiest Day
Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage. He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand, "Congratulations Harry...
X-mas Driving WARNING
A warning to all you drivers, be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had...
True Management Guru
An old French woman had a small shop in her village for years, until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop. They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said...
Wood Eye!
A boy who loses his eye from an accident goes to the doctor gets a wooden replacement. Of course, he is extremely self-conscious about his new wooden eye and doesn`t make an effort to ask out any of the girls...
It's Payback Time
I met one of my Maths teacher yesterday. We greeted and he asked me directions to the State Bank of India. I told him make a 299 degrees turn and walk for 290 meters, then subtend the angle of X using Pythagoras...
Lawyers and Alligators
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, "I don`t understand how you can be so much bigger than I am. We`re the same age, we were the same size as kids...