Clean Jokes

When Little Johnny`s mother found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But Little Johnny overheard some of his parents` private conversations...

Ok I`ve had enough. Too many people asking me again and again to give them the Christmas cake recipe. I`m not gonna type again, one last time!!!
Recipe For Christmas Rum Cake: Ingredients...

Wife calls her scientist husband... "Honey... It`s Friday... you`re late..."
"I`m busy with my team in an experiment."
"Whats that?"
"We`ve just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambient...

A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask...

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn`t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper...

A country club didn`t allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement...

A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated...

A duck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender.
The bartender says "What can I get you?"...

A man got a parrot which could already talk. It had belonged to a sailor and had a big vocabulary. However...

Santa Apni Biwi Ke Saath So Raha Tha Tabhi Achanak Bolta Hai: Bheega Sa Lagta Hai Aalam Mujhe, Bheegi Si Lagti Hai Subah Mujhe, Bheega Lag Raha Hai Saara Jahan Mujhe... Bheega-Bheega...