Clean Jokes

Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk: No thanks, I`m married.
Nope, no more booze for me!
Sorry, but you `re not really my type...

I called my Arab friend home for a traditional `Onam Sadya` (traditional lunch). The Arab friend asked me: Is the Onam lunch Veg or Non veg?
I told him: It`s Vegetarian. Are you coming...

When I reached office, I got a call from my wife. "What is the date today?" She said. I was wondering... then told her 14th September... call disconnected.
I was wondering... her birthday? No... Mine?? No...

An Indian warrior walks into Starbucks with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief...

A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies, and headed for...

A bartender is sitting behind his bar when a well dressed but obviously intoxicated man stumbles in. "Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for me, and a drink for yourself!" The man yells as he approaches....

A little girl was sitting next to her grandfather as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up and touch his wrinkled cheek. She touched her own cheek after she...

Condolence in future will be like this... Jaane Wala Bahut Hi Achcha Insaan Tha, Hamesha Online Rehta Tha, Har Ek Ki Request Accept Kar Leta Tha, Kabhi Bhi Apne Comments Se Kisi Ko Takleef Nahi Di...

While seasoning, if you put few drops of whisky, the oil doesn`t burn.
While kneading dough, put a few drops of beer and the chapatis will be golden brown....

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar. The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!"
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed. The Rabbi came...