Clean Jokes

Sam died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last attenders left, Sam`s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I`m sure Sam would be pleased...

Military leaders succeed in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. They are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe...

I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor...

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve...

This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. "Dude," he told a friend, "I`ve tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back."
"I had the same thing man," his friend say...

Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section. One asks the other if she would like a beer. The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be...

She married him because he was such a "strong man."
She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male."
He married her because she was so "fragile and...

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse`s trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach...

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this...

About 30 years ago, a rich but old Punjabi woman had three sons-in-law. Each of them was better than the other in taking care of her and also, all of them respected the old lady very much. One day, without disclosing...