Clean Jokes

Drink 1st peg and check the photo of your wife in your wallet.
Drink 2nd peg and do the same thing.
Drink 3rd peg and recheck.
Drink 4th peg and recheck.
If your wife starts...

Well, now, here`s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415...

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood...

Kitni Ajeeb Duniya Hai Ye, Yahan Auratein Dusri Auraton Ki Buraiyaan Karti Nahin Thakti, Jabki Aadmi Dusri Auraton Ki Tareef Karte Nahin Thakte. Aadmi Sach Mein Mahaan Hai.
Humne 5 Aadmiyon Ko Beer...

A disciple went to his guru asking for tips to attain enlightenment. The guru advised, "Take a mala and go up into the Himalayas and meditate."
The disciple went away. Several months later, the guru paid...

An airliner ? is fully boarded and ready to push-off from the gate, when two blind pilots enter the main cabin. The pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the...

Greatest scientists of all times were invited to a reunion...
Newton said he`d drop in.
Socrates said he`d think about it.
Ohm resisted the idea.
Boyle said he was under too much pressure...

A young man and a priest are golfing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, Father. How about you...

Once upon a time there was an archery contest. The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position. He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of...

A blonde called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before...