Clean Jokes

Malik, apne aalsi naukar se: Yahan par itne sare machchar goon-goonn kar rahen hain, tu in sabko maar de. Thodi der baad Malik: Oye aalsi kahin ke...

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple...

Hubby: Ye kyaa tum ek aur suit le aayi ? Abhi parso hee to...
Wife chilla kar boli: Kyaa parso? Bolo..... Bolo kyaa kahaa tum ne...

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do, Father...

This guy staggers into a bar and shouts, "A double whisky please barman, and a drink for everyone here... and while you`re at it, have one yourself....

Chintu chup ke cigarette pee raha tha, tabhi us ke papa aa gaye. Chintu ne ghabrahat mein, jaldi se cigarette shirt ki jeb mein chupa li...

It`s Christmas time and Bill and Joe decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good...

A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see...

But Fred died recently. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend, Jody, and says...

Pappu- Daadi neend nahi aa rahi, hum baate kare.
Daadi: Theek hai.
Pappu: Daadi kya hum hamesha 5 hi rahenge? Aap, mom, dad, main aur choti behen....