Clean Jokes

A heavily bandaged man was sitting up in bed at the hospital when his friend came to visit. "What happened to you?" the friend asked. "Well, we went to the amusement park and decided to ride the roller coaster...

During a training session at an artillery unit the sergeant-major was busy describing how the sophisticated aiming device of the artillery weapon system is used: "As you all know, there are 180 degrees...

A man finds his dog with a dead rabbit in its mouth. He realizes that the rabbit is a pet of his next-door neighbor. In a panic he cleans the rabbit up and sneaks it into its cage, hoping his neighbor will think...

A little boy asks his dad, "Where does poo come from?"
His father is taken aback by the question but decides to give his son the facts straight up. "Well son," he says...

During Sermon on a Sunday service, the Pastor said, "If I had all the Beer in the world, I`d take it and throw it into the river."
And the congregation cried, "Amen!"
"And if I had all the Wine...

The young salesman finally plucked up the courage to tell his fiancee that he was breaking off their engagement so that he could marry another woman.
"Can she cook like I can?" asked the distraught fiancee...

Timmy : I`m Hungary.
Mum : Why don`t you Czech the fridge?
Timmy : Okay, I`m Russian to the kitchen.
Mum : Hmm... maybe you`ll find some...

A guy ordered a drink in an airport cocktail lounge and suddenly realized that sitting across from him was Bill Gates. Barely concealing his enthusiasm, he introduced himself, "Hello, Mr. Gates. My name is...

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It`s hard to believe these were actually...

So I was sitting on the bus and somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, "Sonny, would you like some nuts? I`ve got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you`d like....