Clean Jokes

A man and wife were playing in their club`s annual `Guys and Dolls` tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife insisted. On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit. While his wife wasted...

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife`s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist...

"Your Honor," she told the judge, "I want a divorce. My husband has been cheating on me."
"That is a serious accusation," the judge said. "Do you have any...

A bloke went into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered five pots. The barman wondered since he was alone, but served up the five pots. And the bloke downed them all... one, two, three, four, five...

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything went quite well...

The small town sheriff pulled over a Porsche doing 75 miles per hour in a 35 zone. Its wealthy yuppie driver was steaming.
When he finally appeared before the local magistrate, he exploded...

A man brings some very fine material to a tailor and asks him to make a pair of pants. When he comes back a week later, the pants are not ready. Two weeks later, they still are not ready. inally after 6 weeks...

A blonde stopped at a gas station, got out of the car, opened the hood, and checked the engine oil. After a few seconds of what appeared to be intelligent thinking she took the dipstick in her hand...

They had been married for sixty years. They were far from rich, but in very good health, due largely to her insistence that they both eat healthy foods and exercise every day. But their good health...

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn`t it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case...