Clean Jokes

A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.
Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.
Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you...

When you are bored just think about a few things that don`t make sense... like... Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
Do twins ever realise that one of them is unplanned...

Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies` group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat...

Once Ishwarchandra Vidyasagar jokingly asked Madhusudhan Dutt, "As you are a master in English, can you make a sentence without using `E`?"
He wrote this: "I doubt I can. It`s a major part of many...

There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University. He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GED, and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed...

Morris went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn`t want to pay up. What should I do?"
"Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer.
"Nope," Morris replied...

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center...

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. They hired a most comely young woman for the job. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat...

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "You don`t want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife`s routine...

Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, a woman and her husband broke the monotony one night with a trip to the movies. She went inside to get seats while he bought popcorn and drinks in the lobby...