Proposed rate chart outside the doctor's cabin:
My diagnosis.My treatment - 500
Your Differential diagnosis - 1000
Your google doubts - 1500
Your diagnosis. My treatment - 2000
Your diagnosis your treatment - 5000
Doctor: I've found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.
Patient: Great, how often do I have to take it?
Doctor: Every two hours!
Doctor: Do you smoke?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Alcohol?
Patient: Yes, every day.
Doctor: Exercise?
Patient: Never.
Doctor: Women?
Patient: Plenty.
Doctor: Can we be friends?
After having severe stomach pain, a girl visited the doctor's clinic.
Doctor: What did you have for lunch?
Girl: I ate hamburger, french fries, a corn pizza and had a coke.
Doctor: Instagram Nahi Hai Yeh, Sach Mein Kya Khaya Tha Woh Batao?
Girl: Tinde Ki Sabzi Aur Roti!
Patient: Doctor, I'm having some trouble with my breathing.
Doctor: Don't worry, I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!
Doctor: Do you exercise?
Me: Yes, I'm a runner.
Doctor: What kind of a runner?
Me: I run from my problems!
Doctor: Your case is quite complicated.
Patient: Why Doctor? What happened?
Doctor: You got a disease from the chapter which I left as optional during my studies!
If dentist makes his money off people with unhealthy teeth, then why should I trust a toothbrush and a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend!
Dentist: This will hurt a little.
Patient: OK.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now!
Dentists that pass out lollipops at the end of your child's dental cleaning, are passing out little pieces of job security!