Doctor: Hey, how are you? Patient: I am good.
Doctor: Then what are you doing in my clinic, it's not a park!
Reporter to Doctor: What was the biggest mistake of your life?
Doctor: Two years ago, I increased my consultation fees from Rs. 300 to Rs. 500!
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes.
Patient: And how much will it cost?
Dentist: It's 1500.
Patient: What?! 1500 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like!
Doctor to patient: You are very sick.
Patient: Can I get a second opinion?
Doctor: Yes, you are very ugly too!
Doctor: Ji Haan Batao, Kya Takleef Hai?
Girl: Ultiyan Ho Rahi Hain!
Doctor: Kya Khaya Tha?
Girl: Pyar Mein Dhokha! Doctor Sahib!
Doctor: I think this patient is dying. What blood type is he?
Nurse: B positive.
Doctor: Okay. I don't think this patient is dying!
A doctor calls up the Radio station:
Hi, I'd like you to play the song 'Tu Hai Ki Nahi' from the movie 'Roy'.
RJ: Nice choice, To whom would you like to dedicate this beautiful song? Doctor: To my patient on ventilator!
Patient: Doctor Main Roj 100 Rs. Ki Dawa Lekar Ja Raha Hun But Koi Faida Nahi Hua!
Doctor: Achha Chalo Aaj Se 80 Rs. Ki Lekar Jao.
Patient: Usse Kya Hoga?
Doctor:Arre 20 Rs. Ka Faida Hoga!
Santa took his dad for a routine check-up.
Doctor: Your father is very healthy, he did live to be eighty.
Santa: But he's eighty.
Doctor: See? What did I tell you?
Why are dentists always broke?
Because they live from hand to mouth!