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Waiter: Sir, Aap Kya Lenge?
Santa: Ek Butter Chicken Aur Paanch Naan.
Waiter: Aur Dessert Mein Aapko Kya Pasand Hai?
Santa: Oonth Ki Sawaari!

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My wife & her friends joined the gym together and started with three sets of vigorous selfies!

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Banta: My wife keeps on checking my messages to see if I'm flirting with any girls.
Santa: That's nothing bro. My wife saw a photo of me in kindergarten kissing a girl & she spent 6 months searching for that girl on FB, made friends with her & then asked her if she's in touch with me!

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Doctor: Who did this to you?
Santa: Wife.
Doctor: Why?
Santa: She complained that I don't lift even a finger to help her with housework.
Doctor: Then?
Santa: It seems I lifted the wrong finger!

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If women ruled the world, there would be no wars.
Just a number of countries not talking to each other!

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Girl: I love animals.
Pappu: My mom calls me, Kutta!

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The snoring of men is the Karma of women.
Women don't shut up all day and men don't shut up all night!

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Dentist: You need a crown.
Girl: Finally, someone who understands me!

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Girls bring up their boyfriends to get guys to stop flirting with them, guys bring up their girlfriends to indicate that they're not flirting!

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The biggest difference between men and women is that men will apologize for something they did in a women's dream!