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To the people who hate me:
Dear Haters,
I couldn't help but notice that, 'Awesome' ends with 'me',
And 'Ugly' starts with 'you'!

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I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I'll get to you shortly!

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You're dark and handsome. When it's dark, you're handsome!

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Insult:
Girl: Finally I have figured out why you look so bad in pictures?
Boy: Really, why?
Girl: Because you are really ugly!

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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once!

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Sorry I didn't text you back;
Because my phone recognized your number!

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May be you should eat some makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside.

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Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

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Talking about me behind my back?
That means my life is obviously more interesting than yours!

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Boy: You're like a coin.
Girl: Awwww, valuable?
Boy: No, two faced!