I found an old shoebox full of photos. Mostly me with my ex. More than anything else it made me miss those shoes.
How can you tell when your computer's starting to get old? It loses its memory.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any!
I drank so much whisky last night - when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition!
Apparently nine out of ten single women who sit at home and have conversations with their cats are mentally disturbed. My dog's full of useful information like that!
Last week, there was a lookalike contest in China. Everybody won!
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play inside!
