Every morning when I leave the house for work, I get hit by the same bike. Every morning!
What a vicious cycle!
India: Parents have 2-3 kids.
USA: Kids have 2-3 parents!
If there are capital letters, why aren't there capital numbers? I want to be able to yell statistics at people!
The person who discovered coffee is indirectly responsible for a lot of other discoveries and inventions!
For procrastinators, "due date" and "do date" are synonymous!
Teenagers are the most insecure people you'll meet until they're in a group of 3 or more in public in which case they become menaces to society!
I don't need cardio, a simple stare from my wife will get my heart rate up to burn calories!
I tried getting a doctor's appointment today. They said to me "How about 10 tomorrow"?
I said, "Just one is enough!"
They say lonely women love it when men give them company. So when I saw a beautiful lady eating alone, I sat next to her and tried to introduce myself. But she started screaming and asked me to get out of her car.
Women are difficult to comprehend!
Now I know why Jeff Bezos got a divorce?
He needed more space!