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Why don't nails bleed when we cut them?
Because they are Na-Khoon!

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Ladies returning from relatives' function:

Other Countries: Oh God, their behaviour wasn't good.
India: Ab Inka Koi Mar Bhi Gaya Toh Maine Munh Bhi Nahi Dekhne Jana!

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I started reading a horror story in Braille.
Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it!

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No. I don't drink, smoke, or do weed. But I'm still perfectly capable of messing up my life as much as you are!

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Reincarnation is ultimately pointless if you don't remember anything from your past life!

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The most forgiving people are least forgiving to themselves and the least forgiving people are the most forgiving to themselves!

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The difference between booze and weed?
Six drunk guys will start a fight.
Six stoned guys will start a band!

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Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!

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At the Olympics, I saw an athlete carrying a long stick and asked him: `Are you a pole vaulter?`
He replied: `No I'm German but how do you know my name is Walter?`

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I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for.
So far no one has given me a straight answer!