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~ Henny YoungmanIf you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. -
~ Tim VineI don't like my hands. I always keep them at arm's length. -
![I drink to make other people interesting.]()
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~ Dave BarryI drink to make other people interesting. -
~ Marty FeldmanThe pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. -
![My goal is to be able to say, `Fame and fortune just didn't bring me happiness`.]()
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~ Lotus WeinstockMy goal is to be able to say, "Fame and fortune just didn't bring me happiness". -
~ Jules RenardLaziness: the habit of resting before fatigue sets in. -
~ Steve MartinI have yet to meet a kind, witty, interesting, attractive, rich person I didn't like. -
~ Paul RodriguezSometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. -
~ Marcel AchardWomen have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend. -
~ AnonymousSometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.
