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~ Osbert SitwellI have always thought that if I were a rich man I would employ a professional praiser. -
~ Stewart FrancisMy dad used to collect empty beer bottles, which is a nice way of saying he was an alcoholic. -
![In real life, the princesses kiss princes, and then princes turn into frogs.]()
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~ Paulo CoelhoIn real life, the princesses kiss princes, and then princes turn into frogs. -
~ George BurnsToo bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair. -
![I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.]()
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~ Oscar LevantI envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on. -
~ Winston ChurchillI have never developed indigestion from eating my words. -
~ Milton BerleThey've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. -
~ George BurnsIt takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. -
~ Henny YoungmanI just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother- in-law to the airport. -
![I love money because my wife wants it all the time.]()
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~ JD GhaiI love money because my wife wants it all the time.
