Clean Jokes

A beautiful young Goan woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her, "You have so much to live...

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager`s daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit. The florist`s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers...

Annie, 6 years old, gets home from school. She had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, How did it go?"
"I nearly died of shame!" She answers...

Vishwanathan Anand always gets tense, when the waiter brings in the folder and says `Check!`
Friends pay restaurant bills on a de-tu-de basis.
My watch is stuck between 2 and 2.30. It`s a do or dhai situation...

Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk: No thanks, I`m married.
Nope, no more booze for me!
Sorry, but you `re not really my type...

I called my Arab friend home for a traditional `Onam Sadya` (traditional lunch). The Arab friend asked me: Is the Onam lunch Veg or Non veg?
I told him: It`s Vegetarian. Are you coming...

When I reached office, I got a call from my wife. "What is the date today?" She said. I was wondering... then told her 14th September... call disconnected.
I was wondering... her birthday? No... Mine?? No...

An Indian warrior walks into Starbucks with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief...

A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies, and headed for...

A bartender is sitting behind his bar when a well dressed but obviously intoxicated man stumbles in. "Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for me, and a drink for yourself!" The man yells as he approaches....