Clean Jokes

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says...

Santa Ke Ghar Navjot Singh Siddhu Ki Tasvir Lagi Hui Thi. Banta: Yaar, Tujhe Toh Cricket Mein Bilkul Bhi Interest Nahin Hai, Phir Tune Siddhu Ji Ki Photo Kyun Laga Rahi Hai???
Santa: Siddhu?? Kaun Siddhu...

Pappu rings a call centre and complaining about his Internet.
Pappu: My internet is not working properly.
Officer: Ok, Double click on My Computer.
Pappu: I can`t...

You ask your wife something and she says, "Wahan Rakha Hai."
This "Wahan" can be either:
1. On the table.
2. Or any of th 26 drawers in kitchen....

Some new trains have been announced in the name of celebrities: Bappi Express: Pull chain, another chain will be seen behind it. Ekta Kapoor Express: Will come 3 times on the same platform in slow motion....

Ek Baar Santa USA Ghumne Gaya. Wahan Ek Din Jab Santa Shopping Kar Raha Tha Tabhi 1 Building Mein Aag Lag Gayi. Santa Fire Brigade Waalon Se Bola: Tum Logon Ko Neeche Phenko, Main Sabko....

A picky lady customer at a Supermarket`s fruit department watches as a new delivery of fresh fruit is delivered. "Give me two kilo of oranges and wrap every orange in a separate piece of paper, please...

Husband: Tumne Pada... Akhbaar Mein Likha Hai Taaje Survey Se Pata Chala Hai Ki 25 Percent Auratein Maansik Bimari Ke Liye Medicines Leti Hain?
Wife: Toh Ismein Khaas Kya Hai?
Husband: Yeh Toh Bada Hi....

Rahul Gandhi walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma`am, would you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier: It would be...

A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation. The old rancher says...