Clean Jokes

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total chaos in his house. All three children were outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers thrown all about the front yard..

A man is in court. The Judges says, "on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty," said the man in the dock...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep...

Late one Friday night, a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets. He pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Yes, I have. It`s Friday...

Four old geezers came into the pro shop after playing 18 holes and were exhausted. The pro asked if they had a good game and the first old guy said, "Pretty good. I had three riders today...

1. Who is the father of chicken? Chicken ka bab.
2. Who is the mother of chicken? Chicken Kima.
3. How do you tell a chicken to call...

SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY, a woman called her husband`s lifelong golfing buddy. "What`s the matter ?" asked the friend.
"It`s Sam," she said. "I don`t know where I went wrong...

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn`t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"
The second nun answered...

One day a little girl was watching her mom make a roast beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the roasting pan. The little girl asked her mom why she cut off the ends of the roast...

A couple was going out for the evening to celebrate their anniversary. The taxi arrived, and, just as they started out the door, their dog shot back into the house. They didn`t want the dog shut inside all night...