Clean Jokes

Nathan is talking to his lawyer. "Here`s the deal, Abe. If you`re absolutely sure I`ll win the case, I`ll give you the business."
"OK," replies Abe, "but before I can give you my opinion...

Larry, a computer programmer for a consulting group, had designed some software for a large account. He asked John`s help in putting it into operation. At first, Larry handled most of the work. Eventually, though...

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and...

While walking along the beach in Goa, Banta found a bottle lying in the sand. He picked it up, brushed it off, and out popped a genie. "Since you have freed me from this bottle, I will grant you three wishes...

A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines...

A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated...

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total chaos in his house. All three children were outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers thrown all about the front yard..

A man is in court. The Judges says, "on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty," said the man in the dock...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep...

Late one Friday night, a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets. He pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Yes, I have. It`s Friday...