| The Department of Tourism clean-up crew recently found over 200 dead crows off and along NH1 near Delhi, and there was concern that they may have died from some sort of Covid/Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian/Covid related. The cause of death in fact appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paint appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars. The ICMR then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Bike". |
| An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, Your loving husband. His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until next year, on their anniversary, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?" |
| Doctors are used to getting calls at any hour. One night a man phoned his doctor, waking him up. "I'm really sorry to bother you so late," he said, "but I think my wife has appendicitis." Still half asleep, the doctor reminded him that he had removed hs wife's inflamed appendix a couple of years before. "Whoever heard of a second appendix?" the doctor asked. "You may not have heard of a second appendix, doc," the man replied, "but surely you've heard of a second wife!" |
| Bernie had a fight with Rachel, his wife, and went to the movies to cool off. Later that evening, he decided to phone home to see what the situation was and maybe even apologize. "Hello, darling," he said, "what are you making for dinner?" "What am I making for dinner? After all the horrible things you said to me earlier, you want to know what I am making for dinner?? Poison, that's what I'm making, poison." Bernie replies, "Okay then, just make one portion, I'm not coming home." |