Dining Out!
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman...
Falling-Down Drunk
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar, "Why don`t you be a good Samaritan and take him home."
The man takes the drunk out....
Ladies Golf
After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked, "How did your game go?"
The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round...
Warning Whistle!
Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for awhile. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man...
Too Late!
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma...
Drink From The River
A Preacher said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I`d take it and throw it into the river."
And the congregation cried, "Amen!"
"And if I had all the wine in the world, I`d take it and throw it...
How High Will They Go ?
A kangaroo at the Sydney zoo kept getting out of his enclosure every night. Knowing that mature kangaroos could hop very high, the zoo officials replaced the eight-foot fence with a ten-foot fence. He was out...
A Genuine Blonde
A blonde went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots. The owner replied, "Sorry, I don`t have any at the moment."
"Damn!" said the blonde, "I`ve been invited to a fancy masquerade party...
No Longer a Virgin
Pauly`s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn`t eating much, and she just keeps her head down. After a few minutes, she says, "I have something to tell you." Everyone gets silent...
What a Hoot!
Each evening bird-lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl. One night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the conversation....