Warning Whistle!
Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for awhile. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man...
Too Late!
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma...
Drink From The River
A Preacher said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I`d take it and throw it into the river."
And the congregation cried, "Amen!"
"And if I had all the wine in the world, I`d take it and throw it...
How High Will They Go ?
A kangaroo at the Sydney zoo kept getting out of his enclosure every night. Knowing that mature kangaroos could hop very high, the zoo officials replaced the eight-foot fence with a ten-foot fence. He was out...
A Genuine Blonde
A blonde went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots. The owner replied, "Sorry, I don`t have any at the moment."
"Damn!" said the blonde, "I`ve been invited to a fancy masquerade party...
No Longer a Virgin
Pauly`s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn`t eating much, and she just keeps her head down. After a few minutes, she says, "I have something to tell you." Everyone gets silent...
What a Hoot!
Each evening bird-lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl. One night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the conversation....
Pissing and Moaning!
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called... and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned...
Raffle Ticket
I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a raffle ticked for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap...
Dummy Partner
Once Mrs. Aggarwal was being cross examined in Court by a lawyer. Mrs. Aggarwal had said that she was a partner in her husband`s firm, but the lawyer of the opposite party was trying to prove that she was only a...