Clean Jokes

As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to...

Newton`s third law: Every action has an equal and an opposite reaction. So it would stand to reason that every proverb has an equal & opposite proverb.
Actions speak louder than words. vs The pen is mightier...

Wife: Honey Which teams are playing?
Husband: Arsenal vs Manchester United.
Wife : Oooh wonderful! I Love Arsenal.
Husband: That`s a good team...

An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him & said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back...

Ek Baar Ek Neta Ji Gaanv Mein Sabha Karne Ja Rahe The Lekin Gaanv Se Pehle Hi Unki Car Ke Neeche Ek Kutta Aa Gaya Aur Mar Gaya. Accident Ki Wajah Se Car Bhi Kharab Ho Gayi. Neta Ji Ne Driver Ko Madad Laane Ke Liye...

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.
"Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands...

Competitive Salary - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join Our Fast-Paced Company - We have no time to train you.
Casual Work Atmosphere...

An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure.
The weather in New York finally...

An army Major visiting sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks, "What`s your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?
Five minutes with the wire brush...

A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand. The old man said, "Sir, I`m sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today...