Clean Jokes

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were trying to get in to see the Olympics without tickets. So they got to the stadium during one of the main events and discussed how they would be able to attend...

The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher....

A Tourist Asked A Boat Guide: Do You Know Psychology, Geography, Geology And Criminology?
The Guide Said No To All The Questions. The Tourist Then Said: Idiot You Will Die Of Illiteracy...

Pappu is 33 years old and still single. One day, a friend asked, "Why aren`t you married? Can`t you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Pappu replied, "Actually, I`ve found many women I wanted to...

Son: Dad, I want to get married.
Father: First, tell me you`re sorry.
Son: For what?
Father: Say sorry...

Girlfriend- Mere Papa Mujhe Saara Din Guss Karte Rehte Hain... Jab Dekho Daant Dete Hain.
Boyfriend: Koi Bat Nahi Yaar, Papa Hain Vo Tere.
Girlfriend: Lekin Din Bhar..

Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o`clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day...

Ek Baar Santa Ki Padosan Bhabhi Bahaut Beemar Ho Jaati Hai. Use Khoon Ki Zarurat Padti Hai To Santa Dauda Dauda Hospital Jaata Hai Apna Khoon Daan Karke Aa Jata Hai. Theek Hone Ke Baad Padosan Santa Ka Shukriya Karne...

A disciple went to his guru asking for tips to attain enlightenment. The guru advised, "Take a mala and go up into the Himalayas and meditate." The disciple went away. Several months later, the guru paid him a visit and asked...

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don`t notice if you call them by another dog`s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog`s parents never visit..