Clean Jokes

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and...

A sign in a shoe repair store:
We will heel you,
We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you.
Sign over a Gynaecologist`s Office: Dr. Jones, at your cervix...

A group of guys, all aged about 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant, because the waitresses there were pretty. Ten years later, at age 50...

Pappu Ko Apne Khet Mein Tubewell Lagwana Tha Per Usko Smajh Nahin Aa Raha Tha Ki Kahan Lagwaye. Tabhi Wahan Se Ek Baba Ji Gujre. Pappu Ne Socha Ki Kyun Na Baba Ji Se Pucha Jaaye. Baba Ji Saare...

A youngster got posted to FM Sam Maneckshaw`s unit when Sam was the CO. This youngster was on his rounds when one of the riflemen did not notice him and missed saluting him. The youngster got cheesed...

Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui Hai. Husband Office Jaane Se Pehle Shave Kar Raha Hai Aur Shave Karte Karte Usko Blade Lag Jaata Hai. Uske Munh Se Halki Si Aaah Nikalti Hai. Uski Nayi Naveli Patni Kitchen Se Bhaagti...

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam...

Grandma was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her grandpa walked up and asked her what they were having for dinner.
Irritated by the thought...

A gang of hoodlums began hanging out on the steps of the church and hassling worshipers as they came in and out. Finally, the situation got...

Ek Chota Sa Bachcha, Apni Dadi Se: Dadi Maan, Kya Aap Tain Bol Sakti Hain ?
Dadi: Haan, Haan... Bilkul Bol Sakti Hun.
Bachcha: Toh Bol Ke Dikhao Na.
Dadi: Tain...!