Clean Jokes

A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean...

Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. `What will you do if I die before you do?` Dad asked Mom. After some thought, she said that she`d probably...

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don`t sell rectum deodorant...

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school...

This morning I was having bread butter in breakfast. Wanted some green chutney for extra taste. But thought of Modiji`s advice and didn`t ask my wife for it. I got up myself, went to the kitchen...

John goes to the deli for some soup. After he`s seated and about to eat he calls the waiter over. When the waiter comes he says, "Taste this soup."
The waiter says, "Why what`s wrong with the soup...

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune...

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid...

Issac Newton`s mother - "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"
Archimedes`s mother - "Didn`t you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka...

My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table...