The good thing about Scotland is that when someone says "Aaj Desi Piyunga", - they still mean Scotch!
Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
It dissolves marriages, families and careers!
People who drink to escape their problems are...
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'Booze-dils'!
Alcoholism:
The problem that helps you forget all your other problems!
Reality is an illusion caused by alcohol deficiency!
I distrust camels, anyone else who can go a week without a drink!
In a bar, they had a new drink on the menu ' RUM Fillip'
Customer: What's this drink?
Bar Tender: It's a cocktail of Rum mixed with milk and sugar.
Customer: Why sugar?
Bar Tender: Sugar gives energy.
Customer: What about milk?
Bar Tender: Milk will give you strength.
Customer: Why Rum?
Bar Tender: Rum will give you ideas about what to do with strength and energy.
If you can't find your 'Better Half',
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Just remember, Liquor is available in 'Quarters' also!
The only problem I have with alcohol is not having enough money to keep on buying it.
There's a reason why "sober" and "so bored" sound almost exactly the same!