Recession:
When Wine and Women get replaced by Water and Wife!
It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more wine!
Do not let a bottle of wine serve as an inspiration to call your ex in a pathetic attempt to get back together.
Some very fine grapes have died in the making of this wine.
Show some respect!
I tried to drown my sorrows in liquor but the bastards learnt how to swim!
The secret of enjoying a good wine:
1. Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.
2. If it does not look like it's breathing give it mouth-to-mouth.
Why do people find drunk texts annoying. You're the person they're thinking of when their brain can't even function properly!
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink more like their fathers.
Alcohol is a liquid that blends truth with fantasy.
Always get drunk before taking your driver's licence picture. That way whenever you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that.
