Do you know why I make puns?
Because it's my respunsibility!
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth...
Then it just becomes a soap opera!
Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I'm sure I've never met herbivore!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware problem!
If towels could tell jokes, they would probably have a dry sense of humour!
What do you get when a dinosaur mates with a pig?
Jurassic Pork!
What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms?
HeHe!
How do you cut the ocean in half?
Use a sea saw!