Bliss is when you have no problems from your Kids, Knees & Kidneys!
When you speak two languages but start losing vocabulary in both of them.
Byelingual!
When we make pizza at home, it's my wife's job to shred the cheese.
She's the gratist!
What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!
I forgot to go to the gym today.
That's 3 years in a row now!
What do you call three trees?
A tree-o!
It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs, they always take things literally!
Why don't programmers like nature?
It has too many bugs!
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now!
What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner's on me!