What did the grape say when the elephant trod on it?
Nothing, it just gave a little wine!
One state official to the other:
I don't know what people have against us. We haven't done anything!
Why do people never eat clocks?
Because it's really time-consuming!
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy Bear!
Why don't teddy bears ever order dessert?
Because they're always stuffed.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation!
Why couldn't the teacher get the class to focus?
He couldn't control his pupils!
Can a match box?
No, but a tin can!
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences!