If a snake married a mortician, what would their bath towels say?
Hiss and Hearse!
If you don't like musical puns... you have my symphony!
I tried to get reservations to a library, but they were completely booked!
Do not trust atoms.
They make up everything!
How did the date between oxygen and potassium go?
It went OK!
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller!
What kind of shoes do artists wear?
SKETCHERS!
Any joke is a one-liner if the notebook you write it in is wide enough!
What do you call a bagel that flies?
A plane bagel!
What do you do with a sick boat?
Take it to the dock!