Clean Jokes

Archimedes`s mother: "Didn`t you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???"
Thomas Edison`s mother: Of course I am proud that you invented...

A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald`s. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided...

Two church members were going door-to-door through the neighborhood and finally arrived at Mrs. Smith`s house. She was not happy to see them. She greeted them with an attitude that made it clear she had no time...

After only a year in Canada, a Polish man got married to a nice Canadian girl. They got along quite well until the day he rushed into his lawyer`s office and begged him to arrange a quick divorce...

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy. Faithfully they attended...

Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says, "Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me."
His wife was hurt but said, "Dearest, those days...

At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. "I`m a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember...

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company`s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn`t taste like alcohol at all. He didn`t even remember how he got home...

Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns...

A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party. "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it`s big; ignore it if it`s insignificant...