Sometimes you run into people who change your life for the better.
Those people are called bartenders!
Beer may not make you smart, Budweiser!
I found a wallet with 20 quid in it. I wasn't sure how to proceed, but then I thought, "What would Jesus do?"
So I turned it into wine!
I heard that Starbucks is planning on selling beer and wine.
Apparently, it's getting difficult to sell sober people a $12 cup of coffee!
Find the error in this sentence...
"Let's have coffee this evening?"
The spelling of Whisky is wrong!
Pro Tip:
Order two drinks at a time so both of your hands are full and you can't text people you shouldn't!
When you have wine and cheese you're drinking grapes and eating milk!
Alcohol is just water with feelings in it!
I ran out of coffee this morning.
Tequila seemed to a reasonable replacement.
Everyone seems so pretty today!
Pro Tip:
In summers, drink alcohol in the noon... if you fall down people will assume it's due to heat wave!