Auto reply message of a drunkard:
Can't talk now...
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Alcohol you later!
People are telling me to drink LESS whiskey... but I've never heard of that brand!
Good whiskey makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place!
They say follow your heart.
I followed my heart and it led me to the wine shop!
I quit drinking yesterday, but tonight...
I celebrate my comeback!
Half the day, I wonder if it is too late for coffee.
The other half, I wonder if it is too early for alcohol!
If you combine 'Whiskey' and 'Dinner'.
you get a 'Winner'!
If you anything on your mind then come let's drink about it!
I suppose I better get up, get ready and hit the gym.
Sorry typo, I meant gin!
Coffee makes you hyper, but coffee shops are designed for people to chill, whereas alcohol is a depressant but bars and clubs are designed for people to be energetic.
Choice is yours!