Barley - makes BEER.
Corn - makes WHISKEY.
Grapes - make WINE.
Potatoes - make VODKA.
Agave - makes TEQUILA.
Rice - makes SAKE.
Sugarcane - makes RUM.
You can't get drunk without FARMERS!
So Save FARMERS!
When alcohol doesn't count:
1. When it's sunny
2. Your birthday
3. Friday nights
4. All weekend
5. If you're already drunk
Money doesn't buy happiness unless you spend it on whiskey!
Whiskey does not make you fat... it makes you lean... against tables, chairs, walls, floors and pretty girls!
It's always better to choose your company before you choose your drink!
Warning:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not!
"I think a bottle of wine will make me feel better" has cost me a lot of money so far in life!
Sometimes liquor is the only thing that can lubricate the grindstone we call life!
It's strange how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible but 8 beers are so damn easy!
There's a reason why 'sober' and 'so bored' sound almost exactly the same!