An alcoholic is someone you don't like drinking as much as you do!
Do you know what rhymes with Friday?
Alcohol!
I drink very little.
And when I drink little, I become a different person & that different person drinks a lot!
The lottery gives you a 1 in a million chance you won't go to work tomorrow.
Alcohol gives you 1 in 5!
What did I learn today?
It turns out that I'm not addicted to alcohol... I'm addicted to hangovers!
I can't really walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need me to drink the drink them I am all yours!
World Cup 2018 result update:
VODKA 5 - PETROL 0
Drinking pineapple juice will improve your complexion and adding rum will improve others' looks!
Weekend Spiritual Quote:
It is better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a temple thinking about Whisky!
Girl: Me or alcohol?
Alcohol: Choose her, I know you will come back to me later!