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I told myself that I should stop drinking...
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but I'm not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself!

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Me: I'm so over her.
Vodka: No you're not, you should text her.
Me: Really?
Vodka: Yes! 25 times!

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Sometimes after a long hard day at work, it takes me 4 bars to get home!

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When it comes to bonding... Fevicol loses by a big margin to Alcohol!

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Never keep cash at home.
Invest in other 'Liquid' assets!

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Not to get technical, but according to Chemistry... Alcohol is a solution!

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These days nobody respects age...
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Unless it is distilled and bottled!

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There was a man, he left alcohol. His liver was saved but...
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he lost his friends!

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Just want to be rich enough to support my alcoholism with quality wine!

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Alcohol is not the answer.
Alcohol is the question, yes is the answer!

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