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Beware: Alcohol is a perfect solvent. It dissolves marriages, families and careers!

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That moment when you accidently pour too much alcohol into your drink and you have to rough it out because you are not a quitter!

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I've never run a sprint, but once I ran real fast across a parking lot because the liquor store was about to close!

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Having a hangover the next day is like rebooting in safe mode.
The main stuff still works, but it's hard to get much else done!

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Yoga may be the key to your flexibility.
Alcohol is the key to mine!

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Positive thinking comes in all shapes and sizes at your nearest liquor store!

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You are drunk when...
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You have to hold on, to the grass to keep from falling off the earth!

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According to chemistry, alcohol is actually a solution!

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You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night!

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Yesterday, I read an article that said, "if you drink every day... you are an alcoholic."
Thank God, I only drink at every night!

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