Childhood is like being drunk.
Everyone remembers what you did, except you!
I can't seem to find love. But it's okay.
I know exactly where the wine shop is!
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains that could have become beer but didn't!
Fact:
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow!
Guy 1: Dude, how did you win that dance competition?
Guy 2: I don't know I was so drunk and I just walked across the dance floor to get another drink and they declared me the winner!
A real man is one who takes success and failure in equal measure...
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60 ml, to be precise!
It was so windy that when I was walking to the gym, I got blown into a liquor shop!
What do you say when you're gonna drunk dial someone?
Al-cohol you!
A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say it's cute.
If I do it, I'm an alcoholic!
A friend is someone who makes you feel like everything is going to be okay... and gets you drunk!