
Bhakt: Baba, Vishwas Aur Andh Vishwas Mein Kya Farak Hai? Baba: Jisne Daaru Di Woh Namkeen Bhi Dega, Yeh Hai Vishwas. Lekin Jisne Namkeen Diya Woh Daaru Bhi Dega, Yeh Hai Andh Vishwas!

There are five types of alcoholics: 1) Who suffer from memory loss, after drinking. 2) ... sorry I forgot!

The wife saw the fridge, full of Kingfisher beer bottles, kept by her husband. She asked: "What is this for?" Husband's humble answer: "I'm doing what the banks and the govt, could not do... freezing the properties of Vijay Mallya! After freezing I will also liquidate these assets.

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist!

Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. The other says, "I'll have H2O too." The second man dies!

For years and years, I have been incorrectly hearing this advertisement for cough and cold...
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Whiskey Goli Lo!

Me: I'll never make that mistake again.
Whisky: Yes you will!

Three scariest things to see in the morning after spending the previous night drunk:
1) Your face
2) Your wallet
3) List of outgoing calls/texts

If you can't dance when you are drunk, at least speak English or promise people jobs. Don't just waste alcohol!

My conscience is clear. Because I regularly wash it with alcohol!