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Don't be sad, somewhere in a bar, there are happy hours!

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Stop trying to make everyone happy. You are not...
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Tequila!

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They say never drink before 8 PM.
It must be 8 PM somewhere in the world!

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Did you know that drinking 2 to 3 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit!

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Most conflicts can be resolved over drinks!

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I work so I can afford the amount of alcohol required to continue going to work!

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You can't buy happiness, but you can buy scotch.
That's the kind of same thing!

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Whatever your troubles, the answer is never at the bottom of a bottle.
It's usually about halfway down the second!

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I have a Punjabi friend who doesn't drink. I think he is adopted!

I really don't understand why people consider alcohol to be a problem...
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Chemically speaking, it's a solution.

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