sms

A photon walks into a hotel. The porter asks it if it has any luggage.
It replies: Nope, I'm travelling light!

sms

You can instantly stress out anyone just by shouting "catch"!

sms

Of all the animals to make candies based on, worms were a strange choice!

sms

The majority of people believe the most frequently washed body part in 2021 was the hands.
But in fact, it was the brain!

sms

My mom is a hoarder and refuses to throw out her old magazine collection.
She has a lot of issues!

sms

It's weird to think that your co-workers might be faking their personalities as much as you are!

sms

I've got this awful disease where I can't stop making airport jokes.
The doctor says it's terminal!

sms

Life is too short to be serious all the time.
So. if you can't laugh at yourself, call me... I'll laugh at you!

sms

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll empty the seas by 2050 and we'll all die.
You should teach a man to cook lentils!

sms

Pro Tip:
The best way to win an argument with your wife is to wait until she's not around to start it!